Trolling bible: Genesis 2

2010-06-25T14:07:00.000-07:00

Thus teh interwebz were created in all of their glory and vast array.

By the time Gore had created teh interwebz completely, he was very tired and had severe carpel tunnel syndrome, so he rested for a day. Gore named this day: catturday and blessed it because it was the day on which he completed the creation of teh interwebz.

7h3 570ry 0f adam and 3v3 (The story of adam and eve)

This is the account of teh interwebz and teh first people on them. When DARPA and Gore first made teh interwebz, and no sites had yet been made, and no humourously captioned cats yet graced teh interwebz, Gore had not yet let teh peoplez of teh world online so no one was there to create all of the great sites that we know today, but as Gore willed it, great mountains of silicon sprang from the earth which the great Gore, in all his wisdom, formed into the first computers which he gave to the people, and verily, the people rejoiced as now they could see the pictures of fossils and shit like that that composed the entire internet at that point. Now the angels of Gore created many sites for the first interweb users which were strewn all across teh interwebz, all of which were made of pure epic win and made people lol without end. But in the middle of teh interwebz, Gore put the site of the knowledge of trolling which he called 4-chan spawn of the lesser site 2-chan. Now at this point, teh interwebs had not caught on, and there were only two internet users named Adam and Eve.

The lord Gore took Adam and Eve and put then on teh interwebz and said to them, you may visit any site you want, and you may lol at the things there, but if you visit the great and powerful site 4-chan you will surely become a lame n00b.

And for a while, both of them frolicked on teh interwebz, completely unaware of the knowledge of trolling, and about this they felt no shame.

The trolling bible: genesis one

2010-06-25T13:53:00.000-07:00

In the beginning, DARPA* created the begginings of teh interwebz

Now teh interwebz were but a shadow of what they now are, and only had some pictures of fossils and shit like that.

And Al gore said "let there be sites" and there were sites, Al Gore saw the sites and seperated the .coms from the .orgs Gore called the .coms commercial sites, and the .orgs non-profit sites. This was the first step towards the creation of trolling. Gore saw this and it was good

And then Gore said "Let there be sites upon which not just words but images may to be posted and let some of those sites be fucking retarded and full of lame n00bz. And so it was that the first image boards came to be. Gore saw this and it was good.

* Author's note, DARPA was the military organization that created the system, ARPANET which was the precursor to the internet.

And Gore said "Let some of the site actually have shit people want to see, and let people surf teh interwebz"
Gore saw this and it was good.

Then Gore said, let some of those who surf teh interwebz be really annoying and make all sorts of racial slurs with the purpose of annoying the lame n00bz out of their n00by little minds.and it was so. When Gore saw this it was good.

The Trolling Bible

Trolling bible: Genesis 2

The trolling bible: genesis one